


The legally-mandated adventures of the Asanos, the media and therapy

by gwendee



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack Treated Seriously, Dysfunctional Family, Family Dynamics, Fix-It, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Law Enforcement, Maybe - Freeform, News Media, Post-Canon, Therapy, These few tags should not be used side by side, Which they all need
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:54:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23719294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwendee/pseuds/gwendee
Summary: "Maybe separating work and family is not a good thing.""That's not the moral of the story. The moral of the story is that if you have mood management issues, you need therapy."
Relationships: Asano Gakuhou & Asano Gakushuu, Friendship - Relationship
Comments: 48
Kudos: 231





	The legally-mandated adventures of the Asanos, the media and therapy

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, it's me!  
> I wrote this fic mostly as a joke (as I do most things) and I figured, why not post it, you know? I've been tossing the idea around and I think it's hilarious.
> 
> But I do want to say this is in no way making light of or condoning child abuse or any type of abuse! I think the general resolution of dysfunctional family dynamics and Principal Asano's psycho regime was poorly handled in canon. I don't want to make this an angst-fest as well, I think a lot of people have written those, I think we need some humor in these times. This is in no way meant to represent real therapy/counselling/court sessions as well. I don't know how any of Japan's court/CPS or CPS equivalent/counselling works. If you feel uncomfortable with anything I've written, feel free to raise it!

**The legally-mandated adventures of the Asanos, the media and therapy**

It was a long time coming, is what it was.

\--

1.

"-did you, or did you not, beat up four 15-year-old middle school children so much so that they needed medical attention immediately after, in your principal's office and in front of your child?" The attorney says, visibly frustrated, as his pen rhythmically ticks against the side of the table.

On the defendant's stand, Gakuho opens his mouth.

"It's a yes or no question," the judge says, before he manages a reply. "Answer with a yes, or a no."

Gakuho's mouth shuts with an audible click. He looks irritated.

"Well?" 

"Yes, I did," Gakuho says, eyes narrowed. "My justification-"

"That was more than a yes or a no," the judge says. Gakuho scowls and leans back in his seat.

The attorney looks smug. He turns towards the child sitting at another side of the stands, his face softening. "You bore witness to the event. How did you feel?"

Gakushuu sinks lower in his seat. He frowns, and his gaze flicks briefly to the other side of the room where his father is. "Fine."

Gakuho scowls harder.

\--

2\. 

"The Real Victim of Kunugigaoka's Vicious System!" The headline reads in bright bold lettering. "The son of the man behind these unethical systems has been under his influence the longest!" 

"That's a tad dramatic, don't you think?" Gakushuu says, flicking through the article who - in the midst of the year anniversary of Koro-sensei's death - had drummed up enough hype to make it onto the front page of the local news. 

"Well," Ren Sakakibara says loyally, "I think they used a very good picture of you." On the cover, blown up in full color, is indeed a very good picture of Gakushuu Asano. The bandage around his cheek is in crisp definition.

Halfway down the page, Karma Akabane looks up from the paper and stares accusingly in his direction. "He slapped you during finals because you came in second place?!"

"Oh yeah, you weren't there," Gakushuu says, tapping his cheek. 

"He left a crack in the drywall," Toyoma Seo says, and slaps his palms together. "Smack!"

"Put him in jail," Karma says, and goes back to reading.

\--

3\. 

Mei slams the article down, rattling the counter. "Oh my god, remember you told us about that fund raising cafe your middle school class had?"

Isogai wanders over with an empty tray, peering over her shoulder. "Yeah, what about it?" 

"Your psycho principal wanted to poison you all!" She gasps. 

From the kitchen, Jiro's head shoots out. "Did someone say poison?"

"Yeah! You know Isogai's from that weird crazy school right? Apparently the principal wanted to poison them!" 

Jiro's eyes widen. "Seriously? Like real poison?!"

"Uh huh!" Mei holds the article out at arm's length, waving it around. "According to this his son stopped him from doing so! I really pity him!"

Isogai sets the tray down quickly. "I need to make a call!" 

\--

4\. 

“Hey, honey,” someone calls from behind him, and Gakushuu almost jumps. He drops the vegetable into his cart before whirling around, and then straightening up when he sees Ms Mako, one of the parents from his ex schoolmate in middle school.

“Hello,” Gakushuu says warily.

Before anything else the woman pats him on the head. “Remember last year we met at this supermarket and I threw a broccoli at you and called you and your father terrible people?”

“Uh, yes,” Gakushuu says. “It was a cauliflower.”

“Honey, I saw the news,” she softens. “I rescind my statement. I’m sorry you had to live with that monster.”

Gakushuu frowns at her. “He’s not a monster.”

Ms Mako coos softly. “You poor dear. Have some banana cake, it’s homemade.”

\--

5\. 

"Welcome back to Kunugigaoka Kids Tell All! Behind the Scenes of the school controversies surrounding not just one, but two monsters, as it seems. Before the break we heard all about what it's like to be a student there and it is a cutthroat environment where it's truly the survival of the fittest."

"So you have met the Principal before, yes? What is he like?" 

"Terrifying! I didn't even dare talk to him or look him in the eye!”

“Now everyone wants to know - how is Principal junior?”

“Oh man, where do I begin? I feel so terrible for him. He was a rather intimidatingly capable student council president, who seemed to be able to do everything. He came in top in every examination we had. In a school like Kunugigaoka that made him a celebrity. There were rumors that the system favored him at first, because his father was the principal, but once you met him you knew it’s not some kind of fluke. He was genuinely just that smart. He was nice too, in a scary way, like he would help you out if you asked politely enough but he had this aura, you know? Like you knew you didn’t want to get on his bad side.” 

“Were there any signs of abuse? Any that you or your fellow classmates picked out?”

“They had a strained relationship, that’s for sure. At first glance it seemed like they were just professional, the Principal never called him by his first name. If you spent enough time around them, you’d learn that the Principal absolutely hated him! Anything went wrong and the principal would go, Asano this, Asano that! Everytime he came out of the office he would be  _ pissed _ ! We avoided him on those days.”

“What happened in the Principal’s office? Have you ever been there?”

“Luckily, no. I don’t actually know a lot of people that ever got called there. Oh, the four exchange students that made the news! They entered the principal’s office, we know what happened to them. It’s terrifying to think that’s a possibility for any of my classmates.”

“What about for the younger Asano? Do you think that sort of scenario might have happened?”

“I… don’t know. I really can’t say.”

\--

6\. 

"This is a waste of time," Gakuho says, arms crossed. "I am a very busy man, I have things to do."

"Well," the therapist says, "you are legally mandated to be here. This session might prove more helpful than you think."

"I don't abuse my son," Gakuho scoffs. He turns to Gaksuhuu, sitting two chairs away and glaring out the window. "Right, Asano?" 

"Why do you call your son by his surname?" The therapist asks.

"It's just a force of habit," Gakuho says. "We had to maintain a professional distance because of the nature of my work and his education."

"Even outside of school?" The therapist presses.

\--

7\. 

"Maybe separating work and family is not a good thing."

"That's not the moral of the story. The moral of the story is that if you have mood management issues, you need therapy."

\--

8\. 

"I got in!" Gakushuu holds his phone out, gaping. "They accepted me."

From the other end of the table, Gakuho's gaze snaps up. "Scholarship? Internship? College?"

Gakushuu blinks at him, as if momentarily forgetting he was there. He sinks a little lower in his seat. "Intro art class?" 

"What?!"

\--

9\. 

“I made this in art class,” Gakushuu says, clutching onto a piece of paper so hard that the sides of it crinkled. Ren and Natsuhiko look over his shoulders.

“That’s very nice!” Natsuhiko says, with far too much enthusiasm.

“It’s terrible, isn’t it?” Gakushuu says flatly. 

There’s an awkward beat of silence. “No it’s not,” Ren says. “I think it’s very good for a beginner.”

Gakushuu blinks down at it. It’s a very crudely drawn image of a fruits basket that looked like it had sooner been drawn by a six year old than by sixteen. There was never an art class in Kunugigaoka and his father did not deem it necessary in his curriculum. With a set determination, Gakushuu grips the paper and immediately rips it in two. 

“No!” Natsuhiko yells, so suddenly and loudly that Gakushuu flinches. “Why did you do that?!”

“It’s terrible!” Gakushuu says. He rips the rest of it into tiner shreds. “I don’t want evidence of failure.”

From his hands, Ren grabs the shreds before Gakushuu can massacre them further. “I can’t draw any better myself! Sure, it may not belong in a museum, but it’s your first time trying! Shouldn’t that count for something?”

Gakushuu frowns at him. “It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s just a drawing, I can recreate it if I need to, although I do hope results fare better in the second attempt. I shouldn’t have shown it around until I could produce work of a decent quality anyways.”

“It’s not,” Ren tries, then sighs. “Let’s go get ice cream.”

\--

10.

"The principal and I get along fine," Gakushuu says plainly. "There's no cause for concern."

"The principal," his therapist says, "your father?"

"Yes," Gakushuu says, straightening. "Yes, my father."

"He hasn't been the principal of your school for over a year," she says.

"Yes," Gakushuu falters. "It's a force of habit."

"That's what your father said." 

Gakushuu winces.

\--

11\. 

“Why did you go to art class anyways?” Karma says, plopping into the seat next to Gakushuu. He tugs a piece of lined paper free from Gakushuu’s spiral notebook and starts doodling in it.

“My therapist wanted me to try a new activity I never got to without the pri- my father’s supervision,” Gakushuu mumbles.

Karma cocks his head. “And art was the only thing you could think of? I thought you didn’t like drawing.”

“I don’t… not like it,” Gakushuu shrugs. “Just… never really did it before.” 

“Ren told me you ripped up your work.”

Gakushuu scowls at his notebook, the half-written chemical equations staring back at him. “Nosy.”

Karma rolls his eyes. “He cares about you. I know you don’t have a paradigm for healthy relationships but this is what friends do. We check up on each other and make sure you’re safe and happy.”

Gakushuu stares at him. “And you’re here to check up on me? You care about me?”

“Now see, I can’t keep my elusive persona with direct questions like this,” Karma complains. He slides the stolen paper - now adorned with bad doodles of furniture that don’t look like furniture - into Gakushuu’s space. “But for some unfathomable reason, yes, I do. And I’d be level with you here, Shuu-chan, I can’t fucking draw either, okay? We don’t have to be the best at everything to enjoy it.”

Gakushuu looks down at the drawing. It’s really terrible. “Do you want to come to art class with me? I think you need it.”

“Okay first of all, fuck you, and second of all, yes I would, thank you.”

\--

12\. 

“I took down a karate black belt on my third day of karate lessons. The first day, this thirty-something year old guy beat me good. I fell over, vomiting. I had never tasted such defeat. Now, what do you think I did on day two? I watched, burning with the flames of extraordinary humiliation. If I lost my next match too… I’d probably lose my grip on my personality and die of madness. And on day three… I took down my teacher without him landing a blow. That’s learning from defeat.”

“No, that’s - what? What - forgive my lack of professionalism when I say this but honest to god what the actual fuck?”

\--

13\. 

"Kevin?! What are you doing here?" 

"Hey, we parted on… not so great terms the last time, but I'm here to visit!" Kevin slaps Gakushuu on the back. "Well I'm also here to play basketball against a league in another school, but I'm also here to say hi." 

"That's amazing to hear," Gakushuu says. "I'm glad you've, um, recovered from the… incident." Gakushuu winces. "I don't think I have fully apologized." 

"It's not your place to apologize," Kevin tells him gently. "You were as much of a victim as we were." 

Gakushuu frowns. "I wasn't, really." 

Kevin furrows his brows at that. "Let's catch up," he says instead. "Lunch, my treat. We can talk about lighter things." 

“Oh, sure,” Gakushuu says. “I have to drop some things off at home first. Would you like to accompany me?”

“Uh, is your father home? I still have a restraining order against him.”

“Oh, right,” Gakushuu says. “Yeah, I think he is. I forgot about that. Pick a location and text me, I’ll meet you there?”

\--

14.

"Today we're talking about healthy communication," their therapist says. "Communicating with someone isn't simply about trying to get your point across. You have to remember that the other party has their own emotions too; an essential part of healthy communication is listening to their concerns as well. An action plan should not be a battle, it should be a compromise."

"I am perfectly capable of communicating with Gakushuu," Gakuho sniffs. "He never makes it subtle when he has a problem with me.” 

“Is that true?” The therapist turns to Gakushuu. “Do you feel comfortable sharing with your father about your thoughts?”

“He’d always encouraged me to speak up if I took issue with any of his methodologies,” Gakushuu says, his hands folded in his lap. “He says that improvement cannot happen without criticism.”

There’s an almost-smug look growing on Gakuho’s face, but Gakushuu’s not done. “The only problem is that he thinks he’s perfect and has nothing to improve on. That comment is simply so I would listen to him. I think my father takes criticism very poorly.”

“You little brat-”

\--

15\. 

“Shiota?”

“A-Asano?”

They’re reenacting the twin spiderman meme in the clinic’s waiting room. The receptionist briefly looks up to check on the outburst, then goes back to her computer. Gakushuu and Nagisa retreat to a corner of the waiting room, leaving their parents staring awkwardly at each other.

“Family counselling?” Nagisa says. “Oh, yeah, I mean I saw the news.”

“They’re making so much of a fuss about it,” Gakushuu rolls his eyes. “We’re fine. What about you?”

“Oh, same,” Nagisa says. “Well, it’s not court-ordered, but it’s ‘heavily recommended’ by my therapist. We were all made to attend a couple of sessions after the whole Koro-sensei blew up thing.”

“How has that been helping?” Gakushuu asks.

“I mean, it’s okay, but I also think people are making too much of a fuss about it,” Nagisa shrugs. “It’s fine. We’re fine.”

There’s a pause.

“That’s probably not what okay people say,” he says.

“We’ve probably developed a threshold for what constitutes normal behavior,” Gakushuu agrees.

\--

**Notes (for fun, and for your information)**

1\. The following incident takes place in canon, shortly after the pole toppling tournament! If you remember, Gakushuu Asano got a few of his foreign exchange friends to play against 3-E during the tournament. (It was 4 of them in the manga, I don't remember how many in the anime). After their loss they stand in the Principal's office as Gakuho reprimands them. They try to stand up to Gakuho and defend their friend, so of course Gakuho kicks their ass. It's an off-screen fight scene but the aftermath is brutal. Poor kids.

2\. The Slap! I consider this to be a very pivotal moment when I write my Asanos' Dynamics fics. The Slap happens shortly after the finals, where Karma famously comes in first place. Gakuho storms into 3-A and is shocked when they admit they have failed, Gakushuu says something like "hah, you lost" or "you have your answer" and Gakuho bitch-slaps him across the room. Sad.

3\. The poisoning incident occurs during the school festival. 3-E set up a restaurant up in their mountains and came in third place in a school fundraiser. Afterwards in a scene in the Principal's office, Gakushuu and the four Virtuosos are being lectured by Gakuho, who's disappointed that 3-E came in third place. He said that they should have poisoned the food in order to make them lose, to which the kids go "what the fuck are you nuts?" or the polite equivalent of it. Yes, Gakuho is nuts.

4\. I made this up.

5\. I also made this up.

6\. I made this up as well. It's canon that Gakuho calls Gakushuu by his surname, and Gakushuu calls Gakuho "Director". I used "Principal" because, well, that's the way I write it and I wish to keep consistent. I don't think there's any indication that they deviate from this system outside of school? Gakushuu cites a very impersonal relationship between them.

7\. The key takeaway from Gakuho's parenting, as far as I'm concerned.

8\. I made this up too, but you have to admit, that would be cute.

9\. See 8.

10\. See 6. 

11\. It's actually never stated that Karma and Gakushuu end up being friends canonically but? Let me have this. 

12\. This is an actual quote from our beloved Principal Asano! Yeah, I can't believe it either. He says it in the manga during the scene where he beats up four foreign exchange students as per point 1, but I'm not sure if it appeared in the anime. You can read this quote from our dear Principal's wiki page!

13\. Kevin is one of the aforementioned four exchange students! He's from America, and he's the first person that spoke up against Gakuho during the meeting, to defend Gakushuu. Gakuho was straight up calling Gakushuu a failure of a leader and Kevin said, "hey, I think you're being too hard on Gakushuu! He did well" or something like that. I stan him, and I think he's great. I made up the restraining order, but it could exist. 

14\. I made this up, but is it not true?

15\. It's also never stated that Nagisa and Gakushuu ever meet after graduation, much less become friends. I think they could! It's also never stated that there is free therapy for kids in the aftermath of watching their two teachers die (and having killed the latter), but i would like to believe there is.

**Author's Note:**

> And that's all from me for now! I might update this fic depending on whether I can, well, think of things. If you have suggestions or anything you'd like to see happen if I do, feel free to wrire it down, including any other comments and/or criticism! I'd like to think I can take criticism better than Gakuho can ;)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [the legally-mandated adventures of the asanos, the media and therapy [PODFIC]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24430288) by [alstroemeria_thoughts (aurantiaca)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurantiaca/pseuds/alstroemeria_thoughts)




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